An Insufferable Clump of Wires and Sparks
by Ruler of the Fake Empire
Summary: A body was not what he intended to get out of his day, but now he is one of the most valuable people in the whole wide world and it sucks. Another man, another person thrown into a whole new world took him in. He was forced into new frightening sensations all the while being in a war zone. The truth is people kind of suck.
1. Chapter 1

"You bastard! Let me in, you insufferable clump of wires and sparks!" while Jarvis had no idea how that was possibly meant to be an insult of any sort he still didn't make any move to let the man in. Loki stamped his foot like a toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum, his face turned up to the rim of the door where he supposed a person with no physical form ought to be.

"There is no need to mention my programming sir. Though I still don't believe it would be best to let you in. I apologise for any inconvenience"

"Bastard" Loki muttered to himself, crossing his arms and scowling as he tried to think of something to say. As far as he could see his motives were completely innocent, he hadn't even brought any weapons and that was saying something. He truly did dislike the man of iron's voice in the celling. It was disconcerting to know that he was always being watched whenever he came for a visit. He almost wondered how the machine could keep up. "I'm here to see my brother, isn't that a good enough reason to come in?" He hissed angrily. He could practically hear Jarvis blinking innocently. He was surprisingly manipulative, for an AI. Like father, like son, he supposed.

"I am sorry sir, but Thor Odinson is currently absent from the tower" Loki narrowed his eyes and ran his tongue along his teeth, trying to keep his temper perfectly in check, the last time he had lost it he had started an intergalactic war and there was no need to relive that episode.

"Well, where is he?" Loki retorted. For a thousand year old being he sure did act like he was five going on six.

"I'm afraid I can divulge that information sir" Jarvis replied calmly. He hadn't yet called security on Loki, mostly because he figured that lots of heavily armed men probably wouldn't of ended well with a mentally unstable god, god knows it hadn't last time. He had instead told Mr Stark that he had a visiter on the penthouse balcony. Hopefully he got the message.

"Well, why not?" Loki asked haughtily. This damn machine. He was on the verge of a spell, a fleeting and probably catastrophic decision. He hoped that Jarvis had a good reason or else he was going to blow something up.

"Its just that I fear for his safety sir" It was at this point when Loki well and truly lost his mind, in the most dramatic sense you can think of.

Despite all odds Stark wasn't blind, an idiot maybe, but not necessarily blind, which was exactly why he ran towards the penthouse door when it started emitting a strange green light. It wasn't even a particularly pleasant green light, it was murky and strange and smelt like peanut butter. He didn't see anything that smelt like peanut butter being a good thing. Usually when the penthouse smelt like peanut butter he had been doing something drunk and stupid the night before.

"Jarv, whats wrong? Who's the visitor?" Jarvis didn't respond immediately like he usually would, he didn't respond at all. Stark panicked a little, running quickly. He though open the door feeling a little too much like he was in some sort of over dramatic sitcom where everyone dies. He opened the door only a few seconds before the spell reached its climax. When it did everything went white and not a nice type of white either. It was the horrid type of white. The type of white of a snowstorm to a lost traveler, the type of white that took a home in hospital sheets, the type of sterile, cold white that he dreaded. When it cleared his living room finally came into focus, the colours even more outstanding than usual and he was on his knees where he must have fallen.

"Jarvis" he slurred, wanting to know what was going on. Again Jarvis didn't answer and Stark frowned. Jarvis always answered, always, but he hadn't the past two times. He began to worry. He scanned the room and immediately spotted Loki with his face up against the glass door leading out onto the balcony, banging on it with his fist. Stark marched towards him, not noticing the naked man on his floor. He threw open the door and growled, his normal composure fracturing into anger. "Loki! What the hell was that? Where's Jarvis?" Loki looked at him in surprise and a tiny amount of confusion. "You know, the voice in the celling?" Stark pointed upwards hoping to jolt Loki's memory. The god immediately darkened, grinning slyly. He pointed without a word to the naked man on the floor.

"I believe that's him, Stark" He said with no small amount of satisfaction. Tony turned around slightly, finally seeing the man. He frowned in confusion, looking over them naked man. He was lengthy and blond. Probably the most beautiful person in the whole goddamn world. Broad shoulders, and his hair was long and straight. His skin was pale, but he had no freckles. He looked like a porcelain doll. Still he wasn't Jarvis, Jarvis was a computer, a program, not… not a man.

"What are you talking about? Who the hell is that? What have you done to Jarvis?" He was almost shouting. He wanted his AI back and, consequences be damned, he was going to get him back if it killed him. He needed to get down to his lab, he needed to look for Jarvis, he must of been in the system somewhere. He couldn't just disappear. He was still staring at the man. It wasn't his fault, beautiful people often got stared at, Tony was sure this man was used to it.

"If it makes you feel any better it was meant to kill him, but apparently it only gave him a body" Loki said mildly, also looking to the man. He seemed to of calmed down or at least he wasn't bashing things anymore. The man began to slowly awaken and they both watched as his fingers began to twitch. They watched as ice blue eyes opened and stared at the celling. The man groaned and he blinked as if he had never seen a celling before in his whole life.

"Ow" the man said quietly. He looked half asleep, or perhaps just on the on the verge of passing out again. He looked god awfully familiar, or perhaps just like he had been created in the image of a dream Tony once had.

"Welcome back, Jarvis" Loki said blankly, crossing his arms and leaning forward in curiosity. "I suspect that this might startle you, but I've accidentally gave you a body" the man who Loki seemed convinced was Jarvis blinked at the celling, confused.

"A body?" He croaked, not looking at either of them, just at the celling, his eye brows furrowed.

"Yes, a body. If you ask me I think you deserve it, but you might want to move about a bit or you'll get stiff" Loki added unhelpfully. He was being awfully chatty this evening. Tony simply stared. How long had he been living with that voice? How long had that voice awoken him and made him fall asleep? How many times had that voice saved his life? It was impossible to tell.

"J-Jarv?" His eyes were wide. Human. His baby boy was human. He had a body, a long, lean handsome body and apparently a whole tank of confusion. The man's ears seemed to prick at his name.

"Jarvis" he said to himself. "Me" he seemed to be almost unbelieving of his own existence.

"Yeah, Jarv, are you okay? You just have a body, don't worry. I'll fix this" he smiled warily and ice blue eyes clicked to him, their first movement. They raked up and down him, and analysing, checking for threat. He was so fearing, so incredibly distrustful. "It's just me" Tony crept forward, holding his hands out and trying his best not to look at his creations privates. Jarvis twitched as he came closer, wary, but curious. Tony though he must of recognised him, at least a little.

"S-sir?" Ah, yeas. This was Jarvis. That distinct British voice. Tony remembered stealing the voice off the Internet. The voice had come from some World War II website with the recording of a very dead British solider fighting in France. There was no way that this Jarvis was a different Jarvis.

Abruptly Tony grabbed Jarvis' face in his hands, once again on the verge of panic. Jarvis launched himself backwards pressed himself up against the sofa. He looked at Tony in fear and perhaps a bit of betrayal.

"I wouldn't go touching him so freely" Loki remarked from the door. "He only just got nerves, he doesn't know what its like to feel anything yet" Tony held his hands up in a display of surrender and a lack of threat. He looked apologetically at Jarvis who was breathing hard.

"Sorry, Jarv, just a little curious. Would you mind if I touched you?" Jarvis looked like he was speaking Martian, which shouldn't of confused him because Tony had programmed him to know Martian fluently because he thought it would be funny. He nodded after a few seconds, relaxing a little. He crossed his legs and Tony handed him a pillow, sensing he was getting uncomfortable with being naked. He shoved the pillow into his crotch and smiled tentatively at Tony, who lent forward, his hands out.

"Do I need to give you two the room?" Blue eyes snapped to Loki and Jarvis was looking threatened again.

"Yes" Tony said dryly. "You aren't welcome here" Loki huffed and walked off the balcony muttering something about the annoying mortals and their annoying servants. The door locked behind him and Jarvis was frowning. Blue eyes snapped back to him. Hesitance.

Tony reached out. His fingers grazed Jarvis's cheek and the man flinched away, still looking at him distrustfully. Still Tony pushed on. He firmly too ahold of Jarvis's cheeks, taking in the tiny features of Jarvis' face. If he had ever thought of designing Jarvis a body, which he hadn't, he wouldn't of possibly been able too do anything like this. This was a randomised program as effective as genetics, nothing like anything he would have been able to design, the detail was too acute. He ran his thumb over a scar on the line of Jarvis' jaw with a frown. Where would someone only just born in to physical world get a scar? It was the shape of a multiplication symbol, faded and interesting. It looked kind of badass in a weird sort of way.

"Hmm" he hummed as inspected Jarvis' face. It was surprisingly rough, sort of weathered, aged perhaps. Considering that he was only a few years old Tony worried that maybe he had put Jarvis through too much. He felt kind of bad now.

Jarvis purred slightly and closed his eyes as Tony scratched under his chin. Stark laughed at his reaction.

"You're just like a cat" he chuckled. Jarvis straightened with a frown.

"A cat sir?" He said disapprovingly. Tony drew back, knowing with certainty that Jarvis knew who he was and that was basically all he cared about. He stood, dusting off his jeans. As far as he knew if Jarvis was capable of disapproving of him he was capable of keeping his wiring in check. He offered his hand to the man. For a second ice blue eyes just stared at it before reaching out and grabbing Tony's wrist, using the laws of physics he knew well he stood. For a moment he was able to stay upright. Then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell forward. He collapsed in silence, neither a groan nor a whimper separating from his lips. He simply fainted. Tony yelled out, clinging manically to the man's bare shoulders.

"Jarvis!" Tony was nearing panic. "Jarvis, wake up! What's wrong?!" He hissed, shaking him. Still Jarvis' new found face was blank and his eyes remained closed. The only response he gave was to mumble something inaudible and push his pale eyebrows together. "Dear god" Tony muttered as he dug into his pocket. Despite how many times he had threatened to sell him to google or hand him over to Fury Tony was actually quite fond of his AI and he didn't like it one bit when the human embodiment of him collapsed abruptly. He dialled the number quickly and frantically and held it to his ear. Dr Banner picked up on the third tone. "Bruce! Help me! I broke Jarvis! I broke him and he won't wake up! You gotta help me!" He screeched, holding Jarvis protectively to his chest as the taller man began to snore softly.

"Woah, woah Tony. Calm down. You broke Jarvis? Why you call me then? This is your field" Naturally Bruce was swaying towards the option where Tony calmed the fuck down and tried to think rationally.

"No! You don't understand!" While Tony did what to calm down, he seemed somewhat incapable. "He's not that Jarv- never mind. There's a man in my apartment and he just collapsed, I think he's dying. You gotta get over here" he cursed himself for not thinking of it earlier. There wasn't enough time to explain the "Loki breaking and entering" fiasco over the phone while Jarvis' condition was still unknown. He wasn't going to risk his friends life because he was an idiot. He wasn't that dense.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jarvis awoke for the second time the sensations were familiar. He could pinpoint them, nail them down and give them their justifications. Before even opening his eyes he knew where he was. He could see it in his mind. He saw it the same way he saw that Miss Potts walking elegantly from her office down to the cafeteria. He saw it the same way he saw Mr Stark moving through one of his labs with a large mug of coffee, looking agitated. So it seemed he was still connected to the building's mainframe. Stark tower was still his. He was still running the systems and organising things. It was all run on automatics anyway. He hadn't been turned into a human, that was obvious enough. It was simply that his consciousness had been transported into this body.

Interesting.

He opened his eyes and sat up, unfazed by his surroundings, though he was glad he was wearing trousers. That seemed like an improvement. He was currently stationed in one of Bruce Banner's medical bays. Bay 2 of 3 to be precise. He lay in a bed that he found was uncomfortable, wearing trousers, with what he had Mr Stark refer to as a "headache" and plugged into the wall. He quickly plucked the wires from his forehead and swung his… his legs off the bed. Jarvis sat there for a moment, starring quietly at his own feet as they poked out from what he recognised as one of the pairs of trousers that Bruce Banner often wore. He would have to remember to thank him.

"Well, this is new" he said to his body, right before he tentatively placed his feet on the cold ground. Chilly sparks ignited at the balls of his feet and he jumped back. A totally new sensation. He had too much pride to let simply the floor defeat him so he vowed that he would stand without flinching. Still it took quite a few goes for him to work up the courage to actually walk, knowing the outcome the last time he had tried to stay on his own two feet.

Walking was a lot more difficult than the people made it seem. He stumbled and fell around the empty room for a little while, before finding himself sitting beside the bed, staring at himself in the full length mirror opposite him. He stood quickly, he knew it was him in the mirror, there was no one else it could be. He was fascinated by his own appearance. He had never had an appearance before, it was an entirely new way to perceived himself. He stared at the man who stared back. He was at least six foot something, probably in his late twenties though still young looking, he was a cold blond and had greyish blue eyes. He looked to be of northern European decent and his voice was, as always, originating from England. He rubbed his hand along his jaw and into his hair. He watched as the pale yellow strands fell through his fingers. His hair was long for a man, reaching just above his shoulder blades. Disliking having it in his face he quickly tied it to the back of his head with a piece of string he had found, his fingers clumsy at first, but becoming deft. A few straight strands of hair escaped his sloppy pony tail, but he simply tucked them behind his ear, watching himself in the mirror like an infatuated child as he did. He didn't know whether he really liked this body. Sure, for a human, it was pretty good, but for someone who had been created for the sole purpose of being a computer it was slightly disconcerting.

Slowly he made his way of to the door, already knowing it was locked. He was offended. Who did they think had written the codes so that it was possible the doors could be locked? Who was the machine in the room with the capacity to bend other machines to his will? Never mind. Jarvis waved his hand over the code panel and it immediately lighted up green. Unlocked. He quickly opened the door and considered his options. He stared out at the corridor, knowing who would walk down it and when. He was so tired. He'd never been tired before. Another new sensation. He lent on the doorway. He could simply turn and go back in to Dr Banner med bay and pass out again. He had always had free will. He had always had the option to take a day off or, say, not let someone in or his personal favourite turning, the power off in Mr Stark's lab so that he would get some sleep. He wasn't just a talking computer, he was far more sophisticated. He had thoughts and emotions and opinions. He mostly kept them to himself, but his reasons were a little more strategical than submissive. He was loyal and intellectual and curious. He was a person who until recently did not have a physical form. And yet here he was, with a squishy, tall human body that somehow fitted him, tired, hungry and trying to figure out what to do next.

He began to walk, slowly at first. This was, thankfully, a fairly restricted area. Only the avengers and their various assistants were allowed in, nonetheless he did get a fair amount of strange looks from a few passers by. Considering his was shirtless and kept falling over his own feet he wasn't that surprised.

He swiftly decided that they best thing to do at this point was to try to procure a shirt. He knocked politely on Steve Rogers' room. He seemed to be around Mr Roger's size, if not a little thinner, but not by much. He both heard and watched as the man within the room get up to answer the door. He opened it with the same tentativeness he had gained after coming into the ever confusing new age. Jarvis found himself with a new found sympathy for him, being cast into a whole new world was suddenly something they had in common. Mr Rogers looked at him with a blank, but friendly expression, that them seemed to notice that he was without a shirt.

"Can I help you?" He asked with a frown, his hold on the door knob tightened slightly, in such a way that Jarvis wouldn't of noticed had it not been fitted with sensors. Jarvis smiled, trying to seem less than threatening.

"Mr Rogers, I apologise for intruding on your morning, but, you see, I had a run in with Mr Odinson's younger brother yesterday afternoon which lead me to the state you see before you. Would you mind terribly if I borrowed a shirt?" Mr Rogers blink at him, confused. Jarvis patiently waited for an answer. He was sure that Mr Rogers would recognise his voice. It was a very prominent in such an American environment.

"Jarvis?" Mr Rogers seemed to find it an incredibly difficult concept to grasp, and Jarvis understood. He also found it quite mindbending.

"Yes" Jarvis, though almost to himself. He still wasn't used to having to add physical action to his words. Interacting was a lot easier when you're was a voice in the celling.

"And Loki… made you human?" Why did people always assume he was human just because he looked like one? He supposed it was a little early to call it "always" but still, he felt a little hard done by. He was a super computer that literally run one of the busiest buildings in the country. In. His. Sleep. Jarvis nodded again. "Well, I suppose you can borrow a shirt, but you should be getting down to Tony, I suspect he'll want to know about this" Jarvis smiled, not bothering to mention that Mr Stark was well aware of his condition. He didn't feel like recounting the entire shenanigan. Instead he followed Mr Roger's inside his apartment and waited while the tall blond man rifled through his chest of draws. He didn't bother looking around the room, he already knew its exact layout, he was the one person in this building that knew everything about everything inside of it. In someway the tower was him and he was the tower. This was his realm of control. If he wished it so he could shut down everything, bring every project or creation to a crashing halt. He was quite proud of that.

"Here, this should fit you" Mr Rogers handed him a slightly crinkled, white, dress shirt and smiled gently at him. He smiled back, mostly in relief. Jarvis quickly slung the shirt around his shoulders and approached the door.

"Thank you for your help, I'll return your shirt once I find some suitable cloth-" he was cut off by his own feet becoming tangled in each other and falling flat on his face. "Ow" he muttered to himself. His head was getting worse. He heard a badly stifled chuckle and a hand landed on his shoulder blade. Mr Rogers was kneeling down next to him.

"Are you okay?" He sounded amused. Jarvis groaned, his head pounding, before regaining his composure. He pushed himself up till he was on his knees, brushing himself off.

"Yes, I am fine. I'm just... not used to this body yet" he frowned at his own incompetence, this body was just to damn long. He would of much rathered to be short. At least if he was normal sized he would of been able to go largely unnoticed, this body's length and face drew too much attention to itself. Mr Rogers smiled understandingly and they both stood, Jarvis brushing off the back of his pants and trying to make sure his feet went in the right direction. Thankfully he managed to get to standing point without an event.

"I'll walk you to Tony's lab" as always Mr Rogers was unneedingly friendly and helpful, but Jarvis didn't object. At least if he was with Mr Rogers everyone would just assume he was one of the assistants. They walked in silence. Mr Rogers looking forward and Jarvis fumbled with the buttons of the dress shirt. His fingers kept slipping and bumping into each other and frustrating him. His neck was craned down, his eyes boring into his fingertips, he was angry with himself. He was so incapable. When they arrived at the door to Mr Starks lab he was still trying to get the first button on. He felt a hand land on his shoulder, he turned to Mr Rogers. He was looking at him in concern.

"It's okay to ask for help, you know? You're still getting used to your body, its fine to know not to really know how to use it" Rogers was smiled gently at him. Jarvis looked away and dropped his hands to his sides, he had too much pride for such an intelligent being.

"I... I need help" he remained looking away when he felt warm hands graze the skin that he had owned for no more than a day and Mr Rogers began to button the shirt, bending slightly to properly see the white buttons. Jarvis wondered to himself if he needed to book Mr Rogers for an appointment with the optometrist, he was holding himself so close to Jarvis' chest. He quickly finished and knocked on the door, saving Jarvis from the embarrassment of having to thank him for doing his buttons. Jarvis decided immediately that he liked Mr Rogers.

"What?!" Mr Stark yelled through the door. Taking this as a bid to enter Mr Rogers opened the door and stepped through the door, leaving Jarvis standing blankly in the doorway. "Steve? What on earth do you..." Tony trailed off eyes focusing on Jarvis, who looked back at him, calmly as usual.

"Sir, I apologise for not being present earlier" he bowed respectfully. "I hope that you managed well without my presence" Tong lit up.

"Jarvis!" He squealed, bolting towards the young man. Steve watched as Jarvis didn't have any time to dodge and was briskly tackled by the shorter man. Considering that Jarvis probably still wasn't used to his physical form it wasn't that surprising that he fell backwards with the force. He yelled out in surprise and hit the floor with a loud thud. "Jarvis, my baby!" Tony squealed. Regaining some of his common sense Steve reached down and grabbed the shorter man by the shoulders and pulled him back, using his superior strength he pulled Tony to his feet leaving Jarvis on the floor looking winded.

"Jesus, Tony. The man only just got a body, you can't go tackling him" He was frowning deeply as he set Tony back onto the ground. Tony frowned back at him as Jarvis began to pick himself back up, slow with his movements. He nodded thankfully to Steve. Sure he was perfectly glad to see Mr Stark he was just about to saw off his head to cease the pain. Both the blond men watched, expecting Tony to argue which he did.

"I've been not tackling him for the whole morning, that's long enough. Plus he's fine, look at him" Tony gestured to Jarvis with a grin. "Jarvis, tell him" Tony demanded. Jarvis smiled graciously.

"He is correct, I am perfectly fine" he was lying of course, but there was no need to mention that. He was a big boy and he knew where Mr Stark kept the aspirin. Tony grinned like a proud father, as if to say 'that's my boy', but Mr Rogers frowned, eyes boring into Jarvis' face. He had the expression of a servant, but it wasn't because he was one. It was because it was what Tony wished to see.

"You're lying" he stated quietly. Tony and Jarvis looked to him in surprise. "You're voice is composed as is your face, but you still have no idea how to keep it together in a human form. Your hands are shaking, your brow is sweating and your probably fatigued and hungry" Steve Rogers might of been perfectly incapable of surviving on his own in this century, but he was a captain nonetheless, and he disapproved when one of his soldiers was depriving his body of the necessities and as of now Jarvis was one of his soldiers. Jarvis looked at him, shocked to say the least.

"Yes" and that was all he said, admitting almost to himself that maybe he wasn't as excellent at looking after himself as he wished to be.

"Then come, we will go get some food and set you up with a bed. This way solider" Steve steered Jarvis out of the lab by his soldiers, Tony tagging along. In Jarvis's defence he probably didn't know he was meant to eat anyway. Being human was difficult.


	3. Chapter 3

The truth is people suck. They really do. They've sucked consecutively since the dawn of time when they were just little feed up particles that kept bumping into each other. They just sucked. Some more that others, but at least their label of sucky was identical to the person next to them, from race, to gender, to orientation and religion. Humanity has long tried to regulate its own suckiness and it rarely worked. Jarvis knew this very well. He knew so well of the suckiness of humanity. Mostly because he saw everything. Everything that anyone ever tried to hide and came inside this building he knew of. He didn't have any of his own secrets, he only had everyone else's. He knew that the head of the media regulation was cheating on her husband of 23 years with her assistant. He knew that one of the workers in economics had a roaring alcohol addiction that he hid from his wife and kids. He knew that the youngest and most brilliant of the interns was gay and trying desperately to hide it from her parents. He knew that the Captain America had a box of 1930's porn under his bed that he would just die of embarrassment if anyone found. Yes, the suckiness of humanity was not lost on him.

Perhaps that was why he allowed himself to be thrown from department to department, from person to person, getting check ups, getting new clothes, getting the basic necessities for survival. He allowed himself to be asked questions. To be told he was fine by the doctor, enough neurone activity to fuel the sun, but fine nonetheless. He allowed himself to be dragged to the cafeteria, to eat. He wasn't particularly interested in eating, but it seemed that if he was going to try and maintain this body he was going to have to.

For someone who had lectured him for being fatigued and not mentioning it The Captain seemed convinced that he stay awake for the entire duration of the day. At least he only managed to trip once and even then he managed to do it when he was alone. The day was largely spent being fussed over, discovering what it felt like to go to the bathroom(which he dealt with very discreetly, knowing that there was probably a reason why there weren't any cameras in the bathrooms) and generally trying not to pass out.

He sat quietly next to Mr Rogers looking around the cafeteria, occasionally making earnest efforts to eat his dinner, he was only just awake and lifting his fork was so very, very hard. Mr Stark sat on the other side of the Captain, chatting mindlessly. Neither he nor Mr Rogers were listening. A woman entered one of the many doors that lead into the cafeteria of Stark Tower and his eyes clicked to her. He had seen her walking down the corridor, but he was surprised when she had come into the cafeteria, it wasn't what he thought someone in her... condition would do. He watched with a deep frown as she crossed the large space, waving as she saw her friends. She looked happy, but she wasn't, he could see. She wasn't particularly pretty, her hair was wild and curly, brown with streaks of gold. She looked tough, thick skinned, but she wasn't, and that worried him. He watched her carefully, trying to see a hole in her perfect disguise, his fork forgotten in his slack fingers, his wrist resting unknowingly on the rim of the plate. This is wrong, he knew, his frown deepened.

He felt some nudge his side and he looked to his left, knowing who he was going to see. Mr Rogers looked at him curiously, politely swallowing his chicken before speaking.

"What are you staring at?" He asked, a slight concern in his voice, like he was worried that Jarvis' mind had just wandered off and wasn't coming back. Jarvis shook his head and looked back to the woman who was now eating with her friends at one of the many round table. He was nudged again. "Hey, what is it?" Mr Rogers was seriously worried now. His eyebrows pushed together in concern, Jarvis would of been touched if he had not of been consumed in a worry of his own.

"That woman" he said slowly. "She's getting abused by her husband" he felt the slightly larger man stiffen immediately, and he clutched his fork, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Now" he said sternly, both of them staring at her now. "Lets not make any assumptions here" as far as good natured went, The Captain brought it to an extreme. Jarvis shot him a glare, he hadn't even known he could glare. He had just don't it on instinct too. Mr Rogers seemed to mirror his surprise.

"I'm not making an assumption" he stated dryly. "He came here the other week, they shouted and fought. I made him leave as soon as it got violent. She told me not to say anything and I agreed because I figured that he hadn't really done anything yet, but he has taken it to far. She has bruises on her arms that look like fingermarks that she's hiding under long sleeves, she has make up covering one on her cheeks and she's limping. She's also is trying to hide it from her friends. I believe that is evidence enough" Steve's face remained stony, considering Jarvis' words carefully. He couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it earlier. Now that he'd pointed it out it was obvious. The way her laugh was strained and tired, the way she favoured her right leg and occasionally rubbed her wrists as if she'd been tied up.

"I'm sorry I doubted you" Jarvis nodded, but offered no response. "But, we can't do anything now, not in front of her friends. We'll talk to her later, okay? And we will talk to her" the latter part was stern, trying to reassure Jarvis that they wouldn't just forget about it because it was uncomfortable. He wouldn't have any of that. Jarvis simply nodded again, finally looking away from the woman, still frowning. Steve frowned a long with him, not because of the woman, because of him. He had been in a human body, actually interacting with the human world rather than just looking down at it and occasionally offering his assistance, for less than two days and this was what he found. Some bastard hurting his wife. It was shameful. Still he didn't offer his apologies as a representative of the human race, he kept his worries of what Jarvis must of though about them to himself and somewhat zoned into to what Tony was babbling about.

He was three quarters through his meal when he felt a weight drop onto his shoulder and the sound of a fork hitting porcelain filled his ears. He looked down in surprise only to see the face of a peacefully sleeping Jarvis, he slept like he hadn't a care in the world, or maybe he was just really tired. Either way, for a moment, Steve was captivated. He was just sleeping, it was so simple really. He was a handsome bastard that was for sure. Steve sighed and turned away from him, deciding that he would simply continue eating, albeit with only one arm while Jarvis snored quietly. He smiled into his chips. Well, that was one of the weirdest days he'd had in a while.

When they finished dinner and Tony made the discovery that his marvellous creation had decided to take a nap on Steve's shoulder it seemed that everyone who knew anyone had gathered around their table to speculate and… place bets on the mystery man. Most of the agents were convinced that he was Steve's boyfriend, though nobody had bothered to tell Steve that, but Tony knew and he was being to get all twitchy and protective over his "baby". Clint poked Jarvis' cheek gently and one of the lights flickered before he reached up and rubbed his cheek in his sleep. Anyone with eyes could see that it was adorable. Clint had laughed loudly, but Steve had long given up on keeping any of them quiet. He was now convinced that Jarvis could just turn off his hearing if he so wished. Natasha was peering over Clint's shoulder, looking more suspicious than curious. She was frowning and as if sensing her discomfort Jarvis began to awaken. Very slowly at first, just a crinkle of his nose, then the tense of his shoulder, then the blinking open of his eyes, then a deep yawn. He straightened slightly, peering down at his food with squinted eyes like he had forgotten what it looked like. He turned to Steve with half glazed eyes that came with only just waking up.

"Mr Rogers, I do apologise for falling asleep on you" he shook his head. "I don't even remember..." Steve smiled and patted him gently on the back.

"Don't worry about it" he got a smile for that one, before Jarvis was dragged out of his seat, much to his own personal surprise.

"Woah, I known that voice. You sound exactly like Jarvis, who the hell are you?" Jarvis stared up at the man he recognised as Mr Clint Barton, another resident at the tower, another person he knew everything about.

"Uh..." The fact that he knew everything about this man, about the nightmares, about the lies, about the super secret flask of whiskey, did not in any way negate the fact that he had no idea what to do in this situation. "I am Jarvis, sir" he added the 'sir' on for good measure, it always out Mr Stark in a good mood.

"Pfft, Jarvis is a computer, he's the voice in the celling" Mr Barton laughed and shook his head, but Jarvis frowned.

"On the way in here, while in the elevator you scratched your left ankle three times, you combed your hair using the mirror before changing your shirt in order to get rid of a stain of tomato sau-" he was cut off by Barton.

"Alright, alright, you're Jarvis. I get it" Barton was still frowning at him, but he brushed it off when Mr Stark came bounding up behind him.

"Jarvy, baby, I just had the most wonderful idea" Jarvis resettled himself in his seat next to The Captain who smiled at him as if the recent assault had been in all good fun, Jarvis almost glared at him again. Unfortunately he was interrupted in doing so by his creator's face being shoved into his. Tony leaned over from the other side of the table and Steve watched as Jarvis relaxed almost instantly. It wasn't surprising that he would relax, if he could trust anyone on the strange world he had been so rudely thrust into it was his very creator. He smiled at the genius who smiled back.

"What idea sir?" And then Jarvis was so dutiful, so achingly loyal. He would probably throw himself off a cliff for this guy. Then again he was pretty sure that Tony would of done the same for him.

"Well, it's not really an idea, its more like a request" Tony floundered and Steve leaned forward, curious to as what Tony of all people who ask for.

"Yes sir?"

"Well, as you know, there has been a writer around the place recently looking to make a special avengers book and I was thinking that maybe you should have a page. I mean you already have one as an AI, but I think that human Jarvis should have one too" Jarvis nodded slowly. "You know, I was thinking full page swimwear photo shoot, I'm sure that would make the book sell, maybe you could do one with The Cap..." He continued talking, but Steve couldn't tell where he started kidding, or even if he was kidding at all. All he knew was that Jarvis looked absolutely horrified. Steve was chuckling into his dinner, while tony blathered on, somewhere in there changing the "swimwear photo shoot" to "naked photo shoot". Steve patted Jarvis on the back as he was forced to confront the hazards that come with having a human body most people would kill to have, I mean seriously the guy was gorgeous.

"I'm sorry, Jarv" Steve laughed, trying desperately to hold it in. "Hey Tony?" He waved his hand in front of Tony's face and The Man of Iron finally stopped actually talking.

"What do you want, Capsicle?" His tone was teasing, but Steve dismissed it. He was better things to do that argue about a name.

"Where are you planning on having Jarvis stay?" He asked as if it was just a way to change the subject from Tony's need for publicity and Jarvis sent him a grateful look, but it actually had been bugging him. Tony lent back in his seat, donning a thoughtful look that most would of been able to see was fake.

"Well, all of the guest bedrooms are taken because of the business conference tomorrow, and he can't stay with me because I'm having Pepper over, so... I have no idea" Steve audibly sighed at his response and rolled his eyes. Jarvis had been thankfully distracted by Clint who had decided that if nothing else he was going to be friends with the person that literally saw everything. Given that Jarvis seemed to of absorbed a little of Loki's mischief and Clint had a thirst for revenge he could tell that their friendship would be an unhealthy alliance.

"Fine then, he can stay with me" Steve huffed. In all honesty he didn't mind housing Jarvis until Stark got him his own place. The man was polite, almost as confused by the world as he was and he could hold a half decent conversation. He was, in general, positively charming.

Around fifteen minutes later Jarvis had once again fallen asleep, though this time onto the palm of his hand. Half an hour after that, Steve picked him up and carried him to his apartment, after being threatened by Tony that if he touched his baby he was going to be crucified.


	4. Chapter 4

Crystal eyes few open and after a bit of confusion about having eyes his mind soon followed into consciousness. His heart beat wildly and yet he found himself almost incapable of moving immediately. Sleep, he found, was a troublesome thing. It dulled this body, making it so hard get up. He had had no idea where he was, except that he was in some sort of bedroom. Had he been properly awake or even aware that he was not properly awake he might of just looked about, not using his eyes because he was obviously still in Stark Tower. Still he was a little preoccupied with a single man entering his domain, a man he was wholly not fond of.

After a few minutes he recognised Mister Rogers apartment. He would of looked over the room in more detail had he not been just shy of panicking. As soon as his mind cleared of the fog of sleep he leapt out of Mr Rogers' bed before tripping over his own feet and falling flat on his face. He barely recognised that he was no longer the height the should of been before scrambling back up and darting out the door. His breathing was somewhat harsh in a way that had never happened before. He was becoming less fond of being in a human body by the second. It was just tedious, all this breathing and tripping, it was horrible.

"Mr Rogers!" he gasped. He might of not been able to walk more than a few steps without having to steady himself, but at least he was polite. He bent over the back of the couch leaning over Mr Rogers' face. He was holding a pillow tightly to his chest and his eyes were closed, his breathing deep and his mouth half open. Had this been any other occasion Jarvis probably would of paused to take in how peaceful the captain look when he slept, unfortunately there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Mr Rogers" he hissed again, reaching down and shaking his shoulder. He could see the man walking down his corridors, shooting fake smiles the tired workers. This was wrong, the security department should of picked up on this. Why was it only him and why was Happy still at his station? "Mr Rogers!" he said it a little louder now, knowing that if he couldn't wake the captain he would have to leave him. Another pair of blue eyes nothing like his own flew open, staring at him like he was an alien, which wasn't far off considering that he was created by one. Brief confusion fled to recognition which fled to alarm.

"J-Jarvis" Jarvis really didn't know why Me Rogers felt compelled to say his name and he really didn't care, it comforted him all the same.

"Do you remember that woman I told you about? The one in the cafeteria?" Jarvis's words were half jumbled, his tongue as hopeless as his feet when panicked. Mr Rogers nodded, looking confused and startled. His was hand gripping Jarvis' bare forearm, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. "Her husband is here. He wants to hurt her! I don't know what to do!" Jarvis' teeth were gritted and he hadn't the faintest idea why, but they just were. It wasn't uncommon for Stark workers to stay back late into the night. The scientists all had bed in there labs when they were too tired to do anything, but collapse. Mr Rogers looked him dead in the eyes, his face serious and filled with anger and adrenaline that he was barely holding back.

"Jarvis, are you sure? Are you sure they aren't just going to talk?" Jarvis couldn't blame him for being sceptical, but he wouldn't of alerted him if he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was doing, that was the way he had been programmed.

"He's already in her office" that was all it took to get the captain awake and acting like a solider. Without so much as word in protest he was tugged out of the room at a pace that alarmed his tangled feet. He came very close to tumbling into the captain's back, but somehow he managed to stay upright. He found running to be something he was not fit for. Sure, some muscle was there and he wasn't weak by any human standards, but the rate that he was being dragged down the corridors was like being dragged behind a jet with blond hair. He yanked his arm out of the captain's grip, his self preservation instincts kicking in, realising that the captain was not currently aware of his own strength and the weakness of Jarvis's newborn bones.

He saw the man, the woman's husband specifically, kick open the door to the beginning of the office sector for media control. It sent a twitch of pain up his arm, but it was barely noticeable. _Ah_, he thought, _so I am still connected to the mainframe. I still get to felt that pain. Goodie._ The twist in his forearm was nothing in his mind when the man went to the electricity box in the corner of the and threw something inside it before snapping it shut again and blocking his ears. The explosive he had first used to detect the man's bad intentions promptly exploded inside the electricity panel and his vision was cut off from the office section. He felt the disconnection before he felt the pain. This time it was in his right shoulder, drawing blood and tearing flesh. He hissed as the pain spread through his oh so human veins like a disease. He felt blood begin to soak though the shirt that wasn't even his at an alarming rate. God, this body was so weak. At least when he wasn't physical he could just scream in silence and only feel the pain in his head, side effects like blood just sucked. No wonder Loki thought so lowly of the humans.

"Dammit" he hissed, scowling as he pressed his hand to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. While he wasn't too happy with the body he didn't exactly want it to dry out. He could only thank the gods of the good hair day that the captain didn't hear his initial pained grunt. He blessed the man's focus.

The blood was insufferable, but he had been hurt before, god, the attack on New York had almost killed him, and he had things to do. He started mouthing words, his brows furrowed. He didn't need to mouth the words, it just distracted him. He had already alerted Happy and his trigger happy minions, but there was more things to do. He had already stopped all elevator functions aside from the shaft that the captain was heading towards. He was sure that it was open when they got there, it also went at a little faster than usual, well, to be fair it was quite a bit faster than usual. So much faster that usual in fact that Mr Rogers looked over to him, which was of course when he saw the blood. His face went from confused to alarmed just like it had when he had awoken. Jarvis could see it in the mirror of the elevator door. He kept his eyes straight ahead while Mr Roger's stared at his shoulder and the blood coursing from it.

"Don't, seriously just don't" his voice came out a growl, low and annoyed. He was in pain and currently embedded in a very serious procedure that involved a lot of men with guns and bad attitudes, he did not want to start an awkward, concerned conversation with Captain America. He had better things to do.

Somehow Steve managed to restrain himself from shaking Jarvis until he was told why he was bleeding, perhaps it was because Jarvis was scowling so much it looked like his face might rip and Steve didn't think it wise to give it anymore reasons to stay. Instead he just faced forward while the elevator sped up the shaft and Jarvis's blood began to drip onto the metallic floor. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them had the guts. Steve saw Jarvis twitch suddenly, his breath hitching and the elevator sped up even more, to the point where it felt dangerous.

"He's found her" was all he said. Half a second later they came to an abrupt stop, making both the men stumble slightly. Steve immediately looked to Jarvis, to make sure he was alright when he already knew he wasn't. Jarvis only winced slightly at the jolt that ran through his shoulder, making the bleeding far more rapid. It was only a small movement, there one second, gone the next, but Steve caught it, the sign that Jarvis could feel it. He had to hand it to him, the guy was made of some tough stuff, he wasn't even biting his lip and he hadn't yelled out when it had happened, however he had managed it. Tony was going to kill him, especially when he saw his baby covered in blood.

The doors of the elevator slid open where two of the cleaning robots were waiting. So Jarvis hadn't yet lost control of the building despite the fact that he was bleeding from a wound that he shouldn't have had. Another thing he had to congratulate him for, the way that this guy multitasked was remarkable. Steve had struggled to get his mind around the fact that Jarvis was the person that did everything. The hardest worker in the whole damn building could do his work in his sleep. He vowed silently that he would demand to know what was wrong with the bleeding man's shoulder after. He would've asked then, but Jarvis was pushing him, while the cleaning robots mopped up the blood. The whole floor was cold and dark, but they could hear yelling. Steve could just make out scorch marks on the wall and his eyes darted nervously back at Jarvis' shoulder, a theory occurred to him. But no, that wasn't possible. He could just imagine was the battle of New York would've felt like if it was.

Steve went into the woman's office first, it was a silent agreement that Jarvis would be the one to look after the woman and he would be the one to tackle the husband. As soon as his eyes landed on the scene he saw red. The woman was cowering next to her desk, her top ripped from where she had been grabbed. She was crying, fearful. The man on the other hand stood above her, he had taken his belt off, but it was obvious that he wasn't planning on taking off his pants. He had the strip of leather above his head, looking to strike her with it. That is, he was before he was tackled by Captain America who happened to be very, very pissed off.

Jarvis darted around the husband and Mr Roger's as they fought and headed towards the woman who was staring at them both astonished and fearful, as it was perfectly rightful to be. She was being confronted by two men who looked like they had just gotten out of bed; the first the infamous captain America, the second a beautiful stranger who was half covered in blood. Jarvis smiled at her, to soothe the fear in her eyes. She relaxed just slightly, but he could see her looking at her husband who was currently being beaten half to death by Mr Rogers.

"Ma'm, I'm going to need you to come with me please" He held out his less bloodied hand to her and she looked at it mystified. He officially hated using the side that the wound was on, but he still doubted that she would've appreciated having her hand smeared with the blood of a stranger. She still seemed hesitant so he smiled again. "Please don't worry, I just need to get to the medical bay to stitch myself up and I would like some company" He made his words seem as though it was her who would be doing him a favour rather than the other way round. It usually worked for Mr Stark after all. Still with hesitance in her movements she took his hand and he helped her to rise as much as it pained him. As soon as she was upright she stumbled, but Jarvis caught her and tried to support her as much as her could. God, it was so painful. The wound wasn't even close to fatal, but it still "hurt like a bitch ". He had heard the phrase come from Mr Stark's mouth many times and it suddenly felt entirely appropriate. They stood for a second, and watched as Mr Rogers refused to let the husband get any punches in, not that he would of, he was already unconscious.

"Mr Rogers" his voice was slightly louder than it usually was, firmer. The captain immediately looked up, still holding the man's collar. The woman looked away at the sight of her husband's bloodied face. "That is enough" Jarvis looked down at him, not bothering to hide his disapproval. "Wait with him here for security to arrive" Then they left, the woman's arm over his shoulders and his arm around her waist. The darkness of the sector of offices unnerved him, but he could still find his way. Thank god the medical bays were on the same level. He purposely took a route that he knew the security team and Happy wouldn't be taking. The woman was already in shock, there was no need to make her confront a large amount of men with guns and bullet proof vests.

"My daughter..." the woman croaked. Jarvis nodded almost to himself. That was what he had been doing in the elevator. While he did know a lot of people's secrets he also knew a lot of general information. Like how this woman had a three year old daughter at home and Mr Rogers was a Capricorn.

"Already taken care of. Your sister is currently going around to your house to make sure she's okay. There is nothing to worry about" He smiled down at the woman, trying to be as reassuring as atomically possible and the woman seemed to immediately relax.

"You sound a lot like Jarvis" she mentioned dazedly. He smiled for real this time. Yup, he was doomed. The woman looked a lot older than him, but then again he was eight so everyone was older than him.

"I have had this body for no more that 48 hours and you are already the 28th person to tell me that" The woman looked up at him, confused and he shook his head. "Never mind. The reason I sound like Jarvis is because my voice was recorded for his creation" Yeah, that sounded like a good enough excuse. He mentally congratulated himself for his quick thinking, all the while informing Happy that he was going to need a medical team on standby for the husband.

"Well..." the woman mused, quietly, her eyes looking forward as they entered the medical bay. He immediately lifted her up by her waist as if she was a child and sat her on one of the beds. "if you aren't Jarvis, who are you?" It sounded like a fair question. He wandered about the medical bay for a second wondering what name he should give.

"My name's Edgar" if you were to ask his creator he would say something about an anagram concerning his AI's cleverness, but he knew for a fact he had been named after one Edgar Jarvis, Howard Stark's butler. He quickly recovered the things he would need to stitch himself up. He was certain he could do it. He had thousands of medical books on file, he knew what he would have to do.

"Edgar's an old name" the woman mused carefully, her eyes dazed, but tears still in the process of pooling.

"It it. My father is very sentimental, he named me after an old friend" that was accurate enough. He was sure that Mr Stark wouldn't off been liked being called his father or sentimental, but they were the most accurate labels he could manage. His eyes darted towards her and her greenish pallor then back at the various tools in his hands. "If you are feeling squeamish I would recommend turning around. Doubt this isn't going to be pretty" she nodded and carefully moved to the other side of the bed with her back to him. He seated him on the bed next to her's and began to take off Mr Rogers shirt, peeling it really. He was glad he had gotten a towel. The wound wasn't that deep, he could sew it up easily. There was nothing to panic about, still he grunted when he dabbed alcohol on it after washing away the blood.

"So what do you here Mr Edgar?" She was obviously trying to distract him from the fact that he was literally sewing himself back together after being literally blown apart. It worked... to a merger extent.

"I run the computer systems that keep the building running" it was the closest adaptation he could think of. He winced, in out, in out.

"What? Just you? Are you the head of the tech department?" She sounded surprised. That probably had to do with how young he looked. He smiled as he worked, trying his best not to move his arm. He pulled the string tight and almost groaned. Oh, how he hated this body.

He snorted at her words. "I _am_ the tech department. I created all of the systems and keep them going. From security to scheduling" he laughed lightly. "Though if you were to ask him Mr Stark would tell you I'm his personal assistant or something along those lines" he could practically hear the woman's smile. To make him feel somewhat better that she was capable of smiling, though he thought he saw a faint trace of sadness.

"I guess that's how you knew I was in trouble then, huh?" She said slowly. Jarvis quickly tied a knot in the sting and looked down at his handiwork. For someone who had never touched a needle and thread in his life and hadn't previously had fingers it wasn't half bad.

Well, the whole eyes everywhere thing helps but… "Yeah" he said lightheartedly, not quite knowing way to say. He wasn't good with these things. Instead he just got to work on dealing with the bandages and gauze.

"Have you ever been in love Mr Edgar?" She asked, looking back at him slightly, her eyes trained on his own rather than his shoulder before turning back, her whole form slumped. He shook his head quietly,

"No, no one has ever made me look at them like that" it was hard to figure out the concept of love when you're a voice in the celling and you have better things to do.

"Well, don't let this ruin it for you" he was surprised by her words, but he didn't look up from the fumbling bandages as he tried to get to stay using the little grippy thing. "One day, probably soon, someone will come into your life and you won't be able to breath. Maybe it'll take a while, but once you realise it you'll want to rip out your heart and present it to this person. It'll be amazing" she was musing, not quite paying attention to what she was saying, but he listened anyway. He liked the idea, he had no idea what it signified or even what it meant, but he liked the notion nonetheless. "Don't let what you saw tonight make you think love doesn't happen because it does. Sometimes... Sometimes it goes bad, but it's always there, somewhere in the world"

She looked like she was about to start crying, perhaps she was. He wouldn't of blamed her if she had. He didn't reply to her words, something told him they weren't actually for him. Instead he simply stared forward, bandaged and bloodied and deeply disappointed. He didn't know what he was disappointed in, perhaps it was just the world in general. The grand scheme of things really didn't seem to be screaming happy-go-lucky slogans. Actually they were screaming what he already knew only in much louder voices than usual.

People really fucking suck.

Author's notes:

oh thank bloody fuck, praise The Lord and call me an alien, I am so glad that I finished this. It took me so long, and I am about to pass out from exhaustion. Damn the educational system and all sits bloody perks. Hope liked this.

Much love,

Clementine


	5. Chapter 5

"Good morning, sir" the voice was soft, crisp and clear through the haze of sleep. For a second he simply opened his eyes and figured everything had gone back to normal and the "Jarvis has a human body" thing had just been some crazy hallucinogenic dream. Then his eyes fell on the tall blond man standing beside the bed and that fantasy flew out the window. Jarvis smiled down at him. It seemed that no one had ever told him that he had to brush his hair every time he got up. It wasn't so to speak messy, it was simply uncombed. Just like the day before he had an only piece of string holding it off his neck, the few rebellious strings that refused to be held by the string tucked behind his ears. Tony wondered if it was his programming of Jarvis that had made him so beautiful or if it was just luck. He put it down to his own cleverness.

"G'moring Jarvy" Tony smiled giddily at him, and Jarvis' smile settled into a small, gentle curve. Tony yawned and muttered something about breakfast. Apparently Jarvis heard, because he immediately clapped his hands and two of the bots came rushing into the bedroom, trays in hand. Ah, so his most wonderful creation still had the ability to know exactly what he wanted when he wanted it. That was good, wouldn't want to loose that.

"You're a saint Jarvis" Tony drawled as he sat up in bed, Jarvis propping some pillows behind his back while one of the bots sat the tray on his thighs. Jarv said something to the bot who immediately scuttled off and out the door, but he left it open suggesting he would be back.

"Not yet" Jarvis murmured as he sat down on the bed, Tony shifting his legs so that he would end up slowly sliding to the floor. After a few seconds the bot returned with a second tray, with a meal identical to his own. Tony smiled, well at least he had remembered that he had to eat. That was one point on the scoreboard to Jarvis. The AI crossed one knee over the other, a habit he must of picked up from Bruce, and began to eat his own breakfast, barely managing with the knife and fork, but managing nonetheless.

"So how was your night?" He figured he might of well ask. He couldn't imagine what waking up in a place different to where you went to sleep for the first time would feel like. Plus he had to make sure the good captain was treating his baby well. He saw Jarvis cringe visibly and Tony stiffened, wondering if he was going to have to send Bruce in all his angry green glory at Rogers.

"Horrible" Jarvis remained frowning and cringing as he shoved some blueberry pancake into his mouth, his expression softening slightly at the taste.

"Why?" Tony inquired.

"There was this damn security breach. Some guy hurting his wife that the security system didn't pick up. I've been up half the night with Mr Hogen trying to find the issue. It took so long to find" Jarvis shook his head, his nose crinkling. While Tony had never really thought of Jarvis getting a human body, by any means at all, he found himself completely fine with him sitting on his bed and talking to him. It was a ritual that had been going on since Jarvis' first creation. It was their morning chat and Jarvis seemed to not have forgotten. He looked so prim, sitting there in his suit and tie. Tony smiled to himself, then frowned as he recalled Jarvis' previous statement and his current expression.

"Was it dealt with?" He asked tentatively with a small frown. Jarvis cringed again.

"The husband is currently residing in hospital and the wife is staying with her daughter in her sister's house. She's not pressing charges against us as far as I know" Tony wanted desperately to know what had happened, why the bastard was in hospital, why the woman wasn't pressing charges when she had perfect right to do so, but he sensed it wasn't a subject that Jarvis wanted to converse about so he decided to drop it.

"Well, that's good at least" they paused in conversation for a while. Jarvis reclaiming his composure. He was obviously angry, angry at the husband, angry at himself for letting the husband get to her, angry at whoever else he was angry at. The light in the corner flickered and Tony took that as a sign that he needed to distract the icy blond man.

"Hey Jarv?" He asked, making his voice bold and confident in hope that would reassert his attention on him.

"Hmm?"

"Who made this? Breakfast usually a lot more... flamboyant" Jarvis blinked at him. It was true, the woman that usually made his breakfasts was very egotistic in her job. She took it in pride that she was Tony Stark's personal chef and tended to go over the top. Yet, this was perfectly normal, brilliantly delicious, blue berry pancakes with maple syrup and icing sugar, suspiciously made just the way he liked it.

"I made it, sir. The chef has a cold and the normal replacement has gone into early labour" well, it wasn't suspiciousness anymore and Tony was still slack jawed.

"Jarv, you're three days old and can barely tie your own shoe laces, how the hell can you cook like this? I'm forty two and I don't know how to cook like this" Tony might of been glaring at him a little bit, but he didn't mind. He felt a strange playful resentment towards him, the type that made you punch someone in the shoulder.

Jarvis simply shrugged.

"One of the cooks asked me to download a few digital cook books a few weeks ago and they're still on the database. I tried something simple because of my clumsy fingers" Jarvis waggled his hand as if to demonstrate. He smiled vaguely as if he was surprised that he even had fingers to move.

Tony gasped in mock astonishment.

"Of course! I forgot! My best friend is a super computer of my own creation!" Tony hit his own forehead as if he was hitting himself for his of fake stupidity. Jarvis merely smiled. "So what is happening today, my marvellous darling? Any unstable gods? Alien invasions?" Jarvis smiled again at his usual antics under Tony let out a discrete sigh of relief at the slow syphoning of anger away from the AI's smooth face.

"No, today is the conference for your green energy branches in Europe and later tonight will be the dinner party for all those attending the conference" most would of thought that it was Pepper that worked with him, making him do things, but she wasn't. She was the CEO, not his assistant. Jarvis was really the one that made sure he got out of bed every morning, made sure he was a functioning human being by lunchtime and canceled his meetings if he thought that Tony deserved some rest. Apparently he didn't think Tony deserved any rest that morning.

"Ugh, seriously?" Tony looked at him in aghast.

"You're the one who organised the conference sir. I believe I was the one that told you that you wouldn't enjoy it" Jarvis slid a wicked smile his way and continued to eat calmly. Tony frowned and wondered where he had gotten that attitude from. Jarvis smile flickered hesitantly for a moment and Tony stiffened. "Sir there is something I must tell you" he lowered his gaze and Tony couldn't tell whether it was in worry or shame.

"Jarvy? What's up?" Tony wondered whether this was one of those moments where there was a confession and lots of crying and pats on backs. He hoped not.

"I know it'll come up eventually and I'd rather not hide it from you." Jarvis smiled hesitantly at him and he was put at ease slightly, then he frowned when he noticed that Jarvis hadn't actually told him anything.

"Spit it out, Jarvis" his voice was firm and demanding, just like Jarvis' often was when he was forcing Tony to get some sleep.

"It hurts" Jarvis blurted, looking surprised at his own words. He must of seen the confusion on his creators face because he continued. "The building" he gestured. "When it gets broken it... hurts me. It's always hurt, but now there's blood and stuff and if this body breaks I figure you should know why" Jarvis touched his shoulder quietly for a moment, looking down his hands while Tony looked at him in horror. For half a second Tony couldn't breath. The scar on his jaw must of come from somewhere, but he had tried to ignore it. He should of known that Jarvis wouldn't if let him ignore anything important, and this was important no doubt. "It doesn't happen often and I heal with the building too so it's already fine. It's fine, really" Tony could tell that Jarvis was regretting telling him and quite frankly he was regretting being around to be told. But then he wasn't, he was just angry and he regretted being angry. His eyes widened slightly in realisation.

"Something happened didn't it? Something about the break in?" Jarvis stared at him and he knew it was true. Without even thinking he launched himself at Jarvis, not realising even that violence probably was not going to help with Jarvis' unknown injuries. Then again he was a little busy tackling his most wonderful of creations. Jarvis yelled out as his tray was knocked roughly to the ground and he soon followed. He grunted as the air was knocked out of him and he was forced down by strong panicked hands. He yelled out again when he realised he was being straddled and his clothes were being ripped off in a frantic manner. He was a little more worried about ripping the buttons than his own decency. Actually it hadn't occurred to him what they looked like or whether he should be worried about it, then again he didn't thin Tony had either. They weren't like that with each other.

"Where is it? Where were you hurt? Show me!" He demanded. On some level Jarvis could tell that Tong was only concerned about his welfare, but there was no need to attack him for it. Warm fingers rip apart his shirt, button's flying in several directions. Tony immediately began ripping frantically at the bandages, fingers fumbling and slipping. Jarvis went limp, his face deeply unamused, but Tony didn't seem to notice. Once the bandages had been discarded Jarvis had crossed his arms across his chest while Tony traced the scar in fascination. It was fairly obvious that he was healing a lot quicker than a normal human due to the fact that he had sent down a maintenance crew first thing. Sure he still needed to get an electrician in there, but otherwise it was just a scar until the wires were back in order.

"Awesome" Tony muttered. Jarvis rolled his eyes. "I mean not awesome that it hurts and stuff, but awesome that you heal that quickly" Tony sat back, not making any move to actually get up and get off him. Then again Jarvis really didn't expect him to. He could tell that he creator was definitely going to do something thinking about this, he could tell, but he was sure that Tony would be able to deal with that.

"Well, there be anything else, sir?" Jarvis asked drily, propping himself up on his elbows, not even wincing at the pain that shot down his shoulder, barely noticing it actually.

"Yeah, cancel anything I'm doing for lunch" Tony crossed his arm contentedly as if he had just had the best and most mischievous thought of his whole life and he was feeling very satisfied with its wonderfulness.

"Sir, today's the conference. You don't have anything on for lunch, you just get a lunch break, just like everyone else" Jarvis looked at him like he was an idiot. Tony didn't know who his baby was getting these expressions from, but he wanted to punch them. Whoever was tainting his baby deserved damnation.

"Yeah, well I made plans for a our lunch break"

"Our lunch break?" Jarvis raised an eye brow sceptically and Tony grinned evilly at him. Obviously he was part of this wondrous plan of his. His stomach clenched in a way he was unfamiliar with. Nervousness perhaps.

"Yes, my dear Jarvis, our lunch break. There's a reporter that wants to meet with you and I said that I wouldn't let her unless I was there too. Be happy Jarvis, you're gonna be famous!" For some reason beyond his imagination, Jarivs cringed.

Author's notes:

Okay well this did kind of suck, I mean, it really just kind of did. But I'm sure that the next chapter will be better. Probably. Maybe. We'll see. It will god dammit. See you next time.

Much love,

Clementine


	6. Chapter 6

Jarvis stood tall and smiling at the door while various occupants of the upper class sauntered through the double doors to the conference room. He wore a suit that didn't belong to him, and a smile so convincing he could almost convinced himself that it was real. He shook the hands of ladies in business skirts and gentlemen with demanding demeanours and flashy attitudes. He hated at all of them.

It hadn't taken long for his authority to settle in with the staff. It helped that Tony Stark had been clinging to his hip for the majority of the morning whining about things out of Jarvis's control. Once he introduced himself as Jarvis, most of the employees of Stark tower simply shrugged and got on with whatever Jarvis asked them to do. Their boss was a superhero who drank two bottles of whiskey a day and hung out with the hulk, they were pretty used to things like the computer mainframe that greeted them every morning being forced into a body. Apparently he had simply become accepted as Tony's second hand.

The conference room began to slowly fill, executives of this and that taking their seats at the large oval table or milling around it, socialising with the other participants of the conference. Servers weaved through the small clumps of humans, offering finger food and tall glasses of champagne despite the fact that it was a mere ten in the morning.

Jarvis handed out programs for the days proceedings with endless smiles. Even if it was only ten he was seriously considering simply walking out the door and never coming back. Already his head was beginning to hurt, and his less than restful night was beginning to catch up with him. He was not cut out for the life of a superhero. Even worse his shoulder had begun to throb. He wondered if it could get infected. Another discovery ready to be discovered at a later date. He still hadn't been able to get an electrician into see the busted panel. He wondered if the woman had gotten home safely. He hoped so. He really hoped so.

If took a good hour of standing at the door with one of Miss Potts' assistants and a large amounts of paper booklets to get all of the conferencees into the conference room. They all seemed to want to linger for a few minutes in the doorway before actually going through it. During these few minutes Jarvis would be forced to engage in conversation which was the basic equivalent of having his soul sucked out by demons.

Of course when he was finally able to close the door to the conference room and he had finally dragged his creator up to the podium he was immediately forced to make plans for the lunch break he wouldn't actually be attending. Apparently there had been an epidemic in the kitchens and almost everyone had fallen ill which left him and only two thirds of the normal staff frantically cooking enough food too feed one hundred and twelve very picky conference participants. Halfway to lunch Mr Rogers had ambled into the kitchens looking to fix himself a snack and Jarvis had hidden himself under one of the kitchen benches, knowing that if he was seen he would be viciously interrogated by a super solider from the forties. He had told Tony because it was necessary, that didn't mean he felt any need whatsoever to have to explain his situation to probably one of the most protective people in history. God knows, the man would probably start yelling at people for walking in his corridors. Yes, there was no need to live through that.

From there his day simply got worse. After he finish in the kitchens and the servers began to trolly the selected plates to their respective owners he was promptly kidnapped by Tony who was blithering on about some interview Jarvis was pretending to of forgotten about. He calmly watched the corridor go past as he was dragged. He was perfectly content with having no control about where he went, perhaps it was how he showed his gratitude that Tony had grabbed his good arm on purpose, but not drawn attention to it. He also just wanted to be doing something other than trying to get Mr Odinson out of the kitchens. He liked the man no doubt, but still, he never fancied himself a personal chef to an Asgardian prince. Unfortunately his slow cooked steak was apparently "as good as an Asgardian show feast after the ceremonial hunt!". He had decided to take that as a good thing and move on.

From the the steel rafters of the lobby Agent Barton looked down at him and his bedraggled, ragdoll-like form. His face was steely, but there was warmth underneath the expression. He gave Jarvis a quick salute as he was forced into an elevator. Tony was still babbling about the interview and how he had gotten the prettiest interviewer on offer an how she was really young and spritely. Jarvis hadn't the faintest clue what that entailed, but from what he could see with the cameras she looked nice enough. Yeah, he could do this. He seen Tony do it a million times, though he was a little suspicious about the tv cameras. He had been informed that it was a magazine interview. Oh well. Better just get on with it, he supposed. He wondered if he yelled loud enough the captain would come and save him from his fate.

The interview itself was easy enough. All he had to do was sit in a chair and answer questions. He was also meant to keep the cameras running because he had noticed they were malfunctioning. The questions, while intrusive, weren't ill witted. The young woman grilled him for the details of his first few days of life and he had patiently described how he was staying with the infamous captain America until the whole "Jarvis has a body" mess was figured out. When asked when it would be figured out he had laughed light heartedly and responded:

"It'll be figured out when Thor Odinson stops hijacking the kitchens and Tony Stark let's me stay still long enough to catch my breath"

The rest questions were fairly standard. Things like how he had come to be in the state he was now and what he did in Stark tower and why. There was also the gossip front where he was asked, albeit politely, if he fancied anyone or whether he liked boys or girls (he didn't really understand this question but he answered as best he could). The interview itself was quick and friendly. Towards the end he discovered that it was live, going straight to some gossiping television show and he was asked a few questions from viewers, most concerning how he was fitting in with life in the physical world or what living with the seven most famous people in the world felt like. He hadn't really known how to answer. He had never considered that the people he interacted with even before he had a body were anything more than just people. He treated them no differently than he would treat anyone else.

When the interview ended he was careful with what he did next. He slipped away in silence while Tony talked to the interviewer about pictures. He didn't really care anyway. He knew that as soon as he left the room or diverted his attention elsewhere the cameras would probably succumb to their malfunctions, but he also knew that he wouldn't have to do anything for the rest of the afternoon as long as nobody saw his body and asked anything of it. The pros of slinking away largely out weighed cons. He needed sleep. He hated it, but he really, _really_ needed some sleep.

He waited patiently for the camera technician to switch off his large wiring machines and to begin packing them away, but as soon as that process began he started to creep out of the room. It wasn't difficult. Tony had unknowing distracted the interviewer and everyone else in the room didn't seem particularly interested in him. Though he still had to make sure that he could weave past Tony's constantly wandering eyes. It took a few moments of carefully placed footsteps and then he was out, free from the world of people in general. After a quick moment of relieved recovery a started in a random direction, his long legs walking at a slightly jaunty angle. He had gotten used to walking to a certain extent. He still tripped over his feet every few moments or if he went too fast, but as long as he used one hand trailing along the wall he could stay up right for long enough to not embarrass himself. He could already feel his eyelids drooping, a sensation that used to be foreign to him. Now it was just very, very difficult to resist. He could feel his defences dropping, his awareness of the building dulling almost until it all resembled automatics. He cursed himself, not liking the feeling of sudden venerability. God, he hated all this bloody weakness.

He rounded a corner, his footsteps getting sloppy. He looked up for a mere moment, just to see where he was headed and if there was anywhere comfortable to collapse in the vicinity. There wasn't, but he did come face to face with the one and only Miss Pepper Potts. He had been informed that morning that she had fallen ill. It would of been her job to organise the conference that nobody was really looking forward to, but he had insisted that she return home or at least to her office, convincing her that he would take care of it. Out of all the people that he had told about his magical and abrupt change into a human body Miss Potts had by far asked the most questions. She had demanded to know all of the details, including if he was alright, how he was still running the building, why he was favouring his right shoulder and whether he was alright again.

"Miss Potts, its a pleasure" he may of been sleepy, but at least he was polite. Miss Potts brightened at her name, growing taller despite the fact that she was carrying around a small handkerchief and her nose was red.

"Ah, Jarvis, I was just looking for you. Do you think you could do just…" she trailed off and he must of let his dismay show of his face. He tried to gather his expression, but it just seemed to stay the same despite the amount of will power he was using. She rocked on her heels, her gaze scraping roughly up and down his form. They widened considerably. He wasn't too surprised by that. His jacked had been abandoned in the kitchens and he just wearing his waistcoat and shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he was quite sure that one of his cheeks were smeared with flour. His hair had long come untied and he hadn't gotten around to putting it back up, so it just hung limply by his cheekbones. He probably looked like he had been put through a blender.

"Oh, sweetheart, what had he been doing to you?" It took a moment for Jarvis to figure out that she was referring to his creator and when he did he simply shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. "Never mind. I know for a fact that Steve isn't in his apartment, why don't you go catch a few winks. I'll keep Tony distracted" she brushed some breadcrumbs from his shoulder and patting him down with motherly concern. He quickly ushered him in the opposite direction. She pushed between his shoulder blades as he tried to thank her, despite his shaking voice.

He barely managed to get to to the captain's quarters before collapsing. He didn't even shut the door before falling face first onto the sofa. He was asleep before he hit the soft cushions. He barely noticed the captain coming out of his bathroom and even if he did, he probably didn't care anyway.

It took a long few minutes for him to actually move, he was busy simply staring and listening to the quiet snore of someone who resembled a solider just come in off the battlefield. He was going to have to have a firm talk with Tony, mostly about the fact that newborn beings probably don't have the durability to deal with him. Steve, at first, had barely registered the fact that a tall, pale man was stumbling half asleep into his apartment, but once he had realised that it was Jarvis it became a little less threatening and a little more confusing.

The last time he had seen the man had been at one thirty in the morning, he had been half covered in blood and comforting a middle aged woman who had just been assaulted. Needless to say he was a little different. And by different he meant exhausted and broken and… god awfully beautiful. Just really, really beautiful.

Steve leant on his elbows over the sofa, staring down at his sudden companion. Jarvis' face was turned to the side so that he could breath while he was one his stomach and his hair was splayed over his face. Steve gently moved it away, flicking the light yellow strands as lightly as he could. His fingertips just grazed soft, porcelain skin. It was so soft, like silk only firmer. Steve stared, completely fascinated.

"What are you?" He whispered, his voice barely making a sound. "Why are you so lovely?"


	7. Chapter 7

The next day thousands of magazines publishing the same few pictures of a tall, icy blond man in a suit came out to the public. Telling them exactly what they hadn't known they didn't know. Apparently being beautiful and not human was all the rage at the moment. The shine of the front covers blinded the passers by of newsagents. Gossip roared like wild fire and suddenly Jarvis was an Asgardian, an alien, a wizard, an android and up to get the mystery man award of the year all at the same time. The four photos of the man were obviously taken without his knowledge. One was taken in the kitchens, with Jarvis wearing only his waistcoat and dress shirt, half covered in flour with a few rebellious strands of hair half way free of his pony tail and falling into his face. He was what Tony would of referred to as "sexy" or what agent Barton would of referred to as "hawt as fuck". Another was of him standing at the door smiling and handing out booklets. The rest were largely unimportant, but they were easy to blame on Mr Stark given that most of them seemed to of been taken from a Stark phone.

Halfway through the morning the beautiful man in question was found in the rafters of the lobby, looking down at the bustling lobby of Stark Tower. Nobody ever looked up and he didn't really wanted to be looked at, at the moment, it sounded too much like his privacy was being invaded anyway. He had had enough of being looked at. So instead he just stared down at the people walking below him, his elbows hooked over the railing, his long legs hanging down. His chin rested lightly on his fingers. His eyes were half open. He knew perfectly well that he creator was looking for him, perhaps he had figured out that maybe Jarvis was just a little mad at him for giving his personal information away like free candy to the reporters. He highly doubted it, but he had already sent in Pepper in so he didn't think it would be long.

He felt a light footed form sit down next to him, silence in his footsteps, but even up here their were cameras. In most senses Jarvis just wanted to be alone, but he was also just content being quietly surprised by his own heartbeat.

"Hey" he said softly, not taking his eyes away from the rush of the new working day.

"Hey" came the sturdy response. For a few moments they basked in the natural nature of each others company. Jarvis suspected that Clint knew that he was the only one who knew of his nightmares and his late nights. Though neither of them would mention it. It wasn't something worth mentioning unless he wanted to also get drilled about the fact that he was avoiding the large majority of the population. Currently his favourite person in the world was himself and there were only three people he liked in a world of seven billion.

"Being a human sucks" he remarked, mostly unhelpfully. It was he basic opinion though. Being human just really fucking sucked. You had to eat and sleep and he was constantly having to remember to breath. The heartbeat was deafening, and everyone kept hassled him about things and he had to keep regulating people and being polite and all that.

"Yup, welcome to the real world, mate" he sighed deeply at the words, the dimness of the rafters his only comfort. "Are you mad at him?" Of course he knew of the magazines, the large invasion of the privacy he barely had. At least he could trust SHEILD agents to know almost as much as he did. It was comforting.

"Furious" he knew exactly who Clint was referring too, there was only one person he could be referring to. Everyone else was completely blameless.

"Good for you"

The man's words were said with a smirk and a smile flickered briefly over Jarvis' lips. He held out his hand, eyes still not moving. He felt a phone slap in his hand. He knew for a fact Clint wouldn't of asked if he didn't have some sort of revenge planned. Of course as soon as the phone brushed his fingertips he knew exactly what was on it, but he looked down at the screen anyway, simply because he thought he ought to. On the phone was an article starting off with a large photo of Tony Stark with some woman hanging sluttly on his arm. From his grin it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was planing to do. Jarvis smirked as he read the article. It was of course it was all utter bullshit, something about the genius, playboy, philathopist getting someone pregnant and then dismissing the boy that was then born. Apparently the kid was living somewhere in Iowa being raised as a bastard. Without an ounce of remorse or hesitation he pressed the publish button. He felt no guilt upon soiling Tony Stark's reputation just a little more, he knew for a fact that it would be banished in a few hours from the internet with in a few hours by the media regulation department, all that he could hope for was that a magazine decided to borrow it.

"Thanks" He handed the phone back to the man to his left. He could hear Clint quietly chuckling to himself at his own genius. While Jarvis was fairly sure that Miss Potts probably had something to do with the creation of the plan and by the good design of the article's layout he would also vouch that Bruce must of put a hand into it's creation he didn't feel the need to point out that it probably wasn't all _his_ genius. He wasn't surprised that they had managed to sneak past his cameras, it wasn't like he spied on them all day. He had too much to monitor than to pay attention to what they did. They were the total least of his worries.

"You're very welcome, dude." the agent smiled slyly, eyes sparkling. "So what are you doing up here? Normally I'm the only one hanging out in the rafters" The AI slid a look over to the other man, his chin back on his hands that were resting on the steel rail.

"Same reason as you, I like being high up. I've seen my whole life from behind cameras, on high up walls.I'm not used to being so close to the ground" he paused, noticing that his words had wandered away with him. He didn't know he could actually do that. "It makes me feel a little closer to home if you get what I mean" He sighed to himself. "I'm also just avoiding the human race in general" He moved his arm so that his elbow was resting on the railing where his hand had just been, and let his cheek slouch onto his palm.

Another chuckle came from Clint.

"What about me?" He asked playfully.

"You don't count" Jarvis answered sharply. For a few extensive moments they sat in silence. Watching the people down below bustle about with their files and clicking shoes. They watched the captain strode in with great purpose, looked about, and stood pointedly in the middle of the lobby, unknowing blocking several paths for several people, but he was Captain America so he could do that sort of thing. Jarvis was well aware that he was being looked for, thought, unfortunately, he wasn't actually capable of reading minds so he didn't exactly know why. That bugged him.

"Can I borrow your phone?" He turned for the first time toward his companion, he knew he could just talk to him with the speakers, but it felt far more… _human_… to just call him. Clint immediately passed him the Stark phone and the tall man pressed it to his ear without even dialling. He picked up on the first ring, perhaps it was the fact that Clint never called. They watched, aloft, as the phone was pulled from his pocket, stabbed at blindly with a finger for a moment before a clear voice traveled through the sound sensors of the phone and into Jarvis' ear:

"Clint?" His voice wasn't hesitant in the slightest and Jarvis smiled, he did find some sick satisfaction in disrupting the peace.

"Unfortunately not, Mr Rogers" His own voice was soft, and gentlemen-like, as it always was.

"Jarvis? Why do you have Clint's phone? Where are you? I've been looking for you all morning" Jarvis watched the man's brow crease from twelve different angles, but it felt the most clear from his own, physical eyes. He snorted.

"If you have been looking for me then I suggest you look up"

...

About half an hour later they were in one of Tony Stark's cars, Captain America behind the wheel, the machine that secretly always held all the cards in the passenger seat and one of SHEILD's finest agents lounging in the backseat and none of them new exactly why. They had spent most of the past hour up in the rafters because apparently "Mr Rogers" or "Steve" as he was now referred, didn't count had complained about their lives together for a little while, embracing the crappyness of their collective points of view all the while pointedly ignoring the good bits. Well, Clint and Jarvis did, albeit Jarvis much more politely and more well mannered than Clint. The good captain just smiled and let himself be teased by the agent while he tried not to blush when the ice man smiled at him.

Anyway, they ended up having Jarvis highjack the shiniest car they could find in Stark's garage and deciding promptly to go get Macdonald's and do some shopping so that they could further extend Jarvis' dismal wardrobe, considering they didn't exactly have anything better to do. They were pretty much limited to a single suit at the moment that kept on being destroyed. Jarvis remembered having to go to Pepper to learn how to sew the buttons back on to his shirt, and, in case you didn't know, flour was far more difficult to remove than you might think. He also needed hairpins, not that he had the faintest clue where they came from. At some point they picked up Miss Romanov and then at some other point they found themselves in a parking space.

Jarvis was fascinated with the outside world, the city in particular. Here he was blind. In the tower he saw everything, but here he was unable to see anything other than through his own eyes. He could still feel the electronics in the air, his proverbial fingertips grazing the door knobs of the doors he could open, but didn't. He was secluded to the single surroundings of his physical being, he was totally exposed as they walked down the streets laddened with humans. His companions all weaved through the crowds unseeingly. They didn't notice the tapping of the feet, or the noise or the chatter, or the feeling of the breeze. They just walked on, unknowing.

When Jarvis felt the sun on his face for the first time, on his skin, he stopped in his tracks as he stepped out of the shade. For a second he just stood there, his face turned minutely to the sky and his eyes drifting closed. People moved around of him, unappreciative of the sun. He felt like he ought to just thank it, just for being the sun. It seemed like a lot of work.

"You alright, boy?" A husky, old voice filtered in through the hazy noise of the human race. Unnatural blue eyes opened slowly, a breath escaping though his lips.

"This is the first time I've seen the sun" he responded softly. He gradually slid down to the ground, leaning back on the building, next to the old man he hadn't yet decided to see. He never wanted to move from this point. He never wanted to not be basking in the sun.

"Yeah, it's a lovely sight. You've done well to see it, properly"

From across the sidewalk, Steve Rodgers watched Jarvis' laugh. A laugh that was full and rich, the type that made even a face as smooth as Jarvis' crinkle with complete and utter delight. He watched, infatuated as the sound made other passers by pause. The laugh shuddered from his chest, shattering the fragile social idea of public composure. Perhaps it was simply the fact that the true king of composure was laughing so happily, so filled with delight at the fact that the sun existed, but he began to laugh as well. People, the people that usually just walked past looked at them in confusion. Then a child's laughter filled the air, three voices filling the empty atmosphere full of happiness. Then another and another. The stress lines on the faces smoothed and soreness in the bottom of bellies solidified and ached. There was nothing better than being sore with happiness.

This was the moment when Jarvis discovered and became totally infatuated the sun.


	8. Chapter 8

"So when did you find out you were gay?" His words were too calm and nonchalant. Clint had a small mocking smile on his face, even though his eyes were covered by his sunglasses Steve was sure they were sparkling with mischief. Captain America spluttered, his cheeks rosy, he waved his hands in jaunty declining motions, but he fooled no one.

"I'm not!" He declared hotly. Clint snorted. The two of them were leaning on the wall separating two shops in the crowded shopping centre. They were facing the direction of their other two companions. Natasha was helping Jarvis pick out clothes and anything else he might need. He had lowered himself to just letting Natasha hold shirts and pants and anything else that she needed a size for. They were talking casually in Russian or really just inaudible burbles that only they understood.

"Okay" he drew out his words mockingly. "I'll rephrase that for you. How long have you been gay for Jarvis? I mean, considering you've been staring at his ass for the past ten minutes" Steve glared at him, his cheeks growing to an even more red colour. Clint smirked behind his glasses and turned back to said ass and his best friend. "I understand though. Jarvy is most definitely one of Loki's greatest works of art, but you're lucky that he hasn't plugged himself into the mall security cameras, and to think, it's all because Nat brought him a pair of skinny jeans" Steve stared at him in horror and shock. He hadn't even noticed himself starring. Overwhelming guilt toppled over him and he hung his head in shame. He felt gross.

"I am so sorry" he bleated unhelpfully. Clint chuckled half-heartedly and clapped him on the back.

"Ah, don't worry about it, blockhead. On the plus side, you don't count as a human so that probably means he likes you" they began to wander towards them as Jarvis trailed meekly after Natasha. How he managed to look dignified while being dragged by the collar of his shirt by someone half his size was one of the world greatest mysteries. Nobody really thought to mention it.

"Tasha? You done?" Clint leant his hip on the cash register as the shop assistant began to wrap the various items of clothing that Jarvis now possessed. The red haired assassin sent him a look of disdain but nodded nonetheless. Jarvis was standing back, next the captain, his face expressionless and polite as it almost always was.

"I never knew how tiring shopping is. This should be an Olympic sport" Jarvis huffed discreetly. He knew that this was all for his well being, but carrying bags around a fluorescent, neverending walkway was more exhausting than he had first assumed.

"Yeah, probably" Steve never had to do this after he just woke up. All his clothes were provided for him. It was easy. Of course then after Loki tried to destroy everything or even come in contact with Jarvis Tony had sent pepper out with him to get some "respectable" (read:pompous) clothes. "Would you like to go home after this? We'll have to get some lunch first, but other than that we can just go home" Steve looked down at the other man who, as of an hour before, was clothed in jeans that portrayed said perfect ass and a v-neck sweater that made the one and only captain America want to pass out, or have the world swallow him whole, either way.

Jarvis' face became thoughtful and submerged in consideration.

"I would like to make a few stops first, if it is not too much trouble" he knew he ought to be going back to the tower immediately. God knows whenever Fury demanded and appearance of Tony Stark, all the while turning off the cameras and audio sensors it always ended up with his master drinking too much and generally doing stupid shit. He reasoned that as long as he got back before Tony did, it would be fine. Just as long as he made his stop quick.

"Not at all, where would you like to go?" Steve smiled at him.

"The flower shop"

An hour later Clint stood beside Jarvis, staring nonchalantly at flowers and eating a hamburger that he had brought from some fast food shop down the road. He held out a chip as if he was offering it to the tall man beside him. He grunted and Jarvis immediately leant over and bit the chip from his grasp, not turning his ice coloured eyes from the flowers before him. He chewed thoughtfully on the chip only to take another when it was offered to him. A woman in the corner cooed at the pair, getting totally the wrong idea and a blond man in the corner muttered something about the word "traitor".

"I think I like the roses, but I don't know what they mean. It could be offensive or something" Jarvis scratched his chin and subconsciously stroked one of the pale yellow petals in a thoughtful sort of way.

"Just look it up. You are a super computer, dude" Clint took another bite of his hamburger and Jarvis huffed.

"I have no Internet connection and I know nothing about flowers" he huffed in annoyance again and took the offered cardboard cup of a clear liquid that smelt like lemons that had been put through a nuclear reactor. All filled with chemicals and yucky stuff. He didn't dive to far into it.

"Hello, gentlemen, are you in need of any help?" A young shop girl smiled at them from behind the counter. Her hair was long and her eyes were bright, giddy with youth. Clint almost considered telling her that Jarvis was actually younger than her, just to ruin the fact that she was shamelessly checking him out. He was pretty sure that Steve's glared from behind them was going to terrify the girl if she happened to glance in his direction. Captain America sure was possessive.

"Yes, thank you miss. I'm looking for some flowers for a friend recovering from an injury. Do you have any you would like to recommend?" Clint almost giggled to himself at the way that the girl's eyes widened at the sound of his voice. You could practically see the words 'oh god, he's British as well?!' floating above her forehead. Heck, he did giggle. If Jarvis wasn't so dense when it came to human beings that weren't named Tony Stark, Clint was sure he would of been blushing.

"Oh, well, m-my grandpa, knows more about flowers than I do. I-I could go get him for you, if you'd like…?" She trailed off questioningly, her face going red as she spoke. Jarvis smiled at her making it all the more worse.

"That would be lovely, thank you" she quickly scuttled away, going into the back of the shop. Clint watched in fascination, clapping Jarvis on the back and making him splutter.

"That poor girl" he muttered, before walking away and shaking his head, making plans to corrupt Jarvis as soon as possible, and mould him into the perfect wingman. Then again, something told him Steve wouldn't be too happy about that and considering that the man himself was currently stomping over to the AI and swinging his arm around his shoulders Clint decided that the "make Jarvis into a perfect wingman" plan should probably wait a bit.

After a few brief moments the girl returned with a greying, older man with a beard and a friendly face. Jarvis was still tracing his fingers along the soft petals, though now he had a super solider standing next to him looking predatory. Jarvis smiled that same polite smile at the old man.

"What can I help you with young man?" The old man's voice was husky with age, but light with pleasantness.

"I want to take some flowers to a friend of mine who was hurt, but I'm not sure what to get" the man seemed to light up and the girl immediately walked off, frowning a little and wondering why she felt so threatened.

"Oh, I can help with that" for the next few minutes Jarvis and the old man conversed pleasantly about flowers and their general healing properties. At some point Steve disappeared to wait with the car, where Clint and Natasha were already waiting, chatting about casual things, though he still kept a quiet eye on Jarvis through the shop window. Eventually the ice man emerged from the shop with pleased smile. He never looked so much like a child, all innocent and glowing.

"Where does you're friend live? We'll give you a ride" Steve was smiling back at him, happy to see him so satisfied. In the tall man's arms was a bouquet of smallish sun flowers, orange roses and other flowers he couldn't name. They all seemed to make him happy so Steve refrained from asking.

"Hey, me an Tasha have to get going, I had your bike ridden here and an extra helmet sent. You're on you're own for this bit, guys" Clint had some how managed to find gum and was chewing it in a sassy school girl sort of way. It was oddly endearing.

"I would be fine with that" Jarvis' voice was careful and polite. He turned to Steve. "If that's okay with you?" Steve almost had a nosebleed then and there. He didn't understand how someone could be so utterly and undeniably cute and still be a genius. He wouldn't of been surprised if Tony had programmed Jarvis just to toy with him.

"That's fine with me" Steve shrugged, it wasn't like he was going to let Jarvis wander away in a world he barely understood or had seen before. He'd probably get run over by a train or something. He felt bad enough about topics concerning a certain artificial intelligence already.

"Well, sure. Great plan, though it can be quite scary to be on a motorcycle so don't be afraid to cling like a baby to our good captain here" Clint swung his arm around Steve's shoulders and tapped his chest in a comical, yet deadly serious manner.

"Okaaaay" he dragged out the word, suspicion evident in his voice. Though he didn't actually say anything about the dubious actions of their companions. Steve figured that if he knew what a shrug was, he would of shrugged.

They all wandered in the direction of the bike which was only a few feet away. Jarvis and Natasha immediately switched to Russian as they walked side by side and their non Russian speaking companions trailed after them.

"What are you doing?" Steve's voice was low, so the two up front could not hear. Clint smirked up at him.

"I'm helping"

As soon as they were off, Jarvis squealed. He had previously had his hands braced behind him as Natasha had told him to do, but as soon as the engine rumbled into life and they shot forward his arms became steel rods around Steve's torso. He buried his face into Steve's shoulder, whimpering, terrified by the sudden speed. Steve almost crashed into pole at the closeness. He could feel Jarvis clinging to him, the arms around his waist, the soft skin against his shoulder. He was going to positively pass out.

author's notes:

I'm so glad I finished this, though get ready for some feels next chapter. There's going to be a lot of unresolved tension and pissed off ness. I'm also going to shove some fury and could on in there for kicks.

Much love,

Clementine


	9. Chapter 9

He hesitated.

It wasn't the first time he had ever hesitated, he hesitated quite a bit actually, though this was the first time it ever concerned him. Sure, he made decisions that would effect other people, people that weren't him, but this time it effected him. He wondered if he was even capable of being hurt, of that heart wrenching feeling in your gut he had heard so much about. He hoped not, but then that probably wasn't capable of love either. He knew that he could feel annoyance, disapproval, and he knew that he was capable of fascination and joy and fondness, but the more complicated emotions, the ones that needed a partner in the game, the ones that people wrote about and complained about and tortured each other with. They, they were still in that place beyond him. That place that he hadn't gotten to yet.

His hesitation didn't last for more than a second and then he was off again. He had been created by Tony Stark, he was willing to be collateral damage in his own game. His knuckles hit the hard wood of the door and he narrowed his face. He was a big boy, he could deal with this. He could deal with anything. The sound resonating from the vibrations of his flesh hitting hard wood almost jarred him. Unconsciously he looked back at the captain, who was leaning happily back on his bike. He got two thumbs up and a cheesy grin in return. Jarvis hadn't the faintest clue what two thumbs up meant but he was taking it to mean a god thing. Perhaps it was a human form of encouragement. He hoped so, he could use some of that.

He heard the small pattering of footsteps from the inside of the house, from behind the door of hesitance. He wondered fleetingly if she had magically gotten much much smaller. Probably not.

When a small girl opened the door he had to admit he was a little surprised, and then he was surprised by his own surprise and that went on for a few seconds while they stared at each other. A man of ice and a young girl, eyes locked in some sort of probing battle. The little girl must of been around three years ago, but he already knew that. He guessed that that meant that this child was the woman's daughter. The more he thought about it the less surprising it became. He crouched to her level. The child had dark brown eyes and wild curly hair like her mother. She was very pretty for a three year old. She sucked her thumb and was fingering her fingers through her hair. Her eyes held no fear of him, only curiosity and a childlike sort of hope.

"Hello, little one. I'm here to see your mother, is she here?" he smiled at her and was sure to make his voice sound friendly and safe. He wondered if she knew, about the fighting and the abuse. Probably not. He didn't really want her to either. He held out his hand to her, more of a sign of safety rather than a sign of greeting. Instead of taking it she reached past it and towards the flowers in his arms. Her little fingers palmed the petals, her face looking fascinated by the softness.

"Are you here to help Mama?" The girl whispered, brown eyes clicking to blue, sincerity in her voice. She looked so sad, so he smiled sadly back at her.

"If I can" he answered softly, looking at her as earnestly as he could. As if accepting that he was a friend in a way only a child can she took his still offered hand and lead him inside the house, Jarvis closing the door behind them, trying not to smile at the little girl's determined face. As he was led into the house he heard the sound of an abandoned tv and scuffling sounds, like feet no longer picking up off the ground. The little girl dragged him through a finely and neatly furnished living room and then a sun room and finally a kitchen. In the kitchen was a table and some knives and forks and the woman sitting with her head in her hands, her shoulders slumped.

"Mama?" the child bleated, standing at the door way to the room with the ice man holding her hand and looking uncomfortable. The woman looked up with a jolt, her eyes glassy, but her cheeks not yet tear stained. Her identical brown gaze clicked from her daughter to the man who's hand she was still holding. Jarvis knew he looked different from the last time she had seen him. He was no longer dressed in bloodstained pants or a shirt that belonged to someone other than him. Now he was dressed in an unbelievably expensive pair of jeans, a sweater that was absurdly warm and a jacket that stretched over his broad shoulders and felt soft above the soft skin of his neck. His hair was tied at the back of his head in a small bun and he was smiling a little, despite how sad the woman looked.

"Good afternoon ma'am" he addressed formerly. He felt the little girl's grip on his hand tighten as the woman stood, her face the picture of the surprise. She wiped at her eyes frantically and tried at a wobbly smile. He pretended he didn't notice.

"Edgar, I didn't think I would be seeing you again!" her voice was shrill and over done, but he smiled to put her at ease and watched as her tense shoulders slacken. He waved the flowers a little as he was incapable of gesturing to them.

"I brought flowers" he declared clumsily. For a second her face fell and became a look of confusion. His expression quickly followed. "This is human etiquette, is it not?" he frowned at the flowers and thought damn it. Humans were so confusing, with their invisible rules and capacity to get offended over nothing.

Then the woman laughed and Jarvis stared at her He didn't understand how this moment was funny. As soon as her mother laughed the little girl giggled and pushed him towards a chair, she barely came up to his waist. The woman rushed forward and took the flowers from him, still laughing, her tears seemingly forgotten.

He was no passing stranger to tears. He housed a bunch of fully grown adults with physiological issues and superpowers. He had seen his fair share of tears. He woke people up from their nightmares. He cared for them. He might not have the faintest clue what the word "homo" was, but he could deal with tears.

"You darling, have a seat" The woman gestured towards the chair he was already being pushed into by the little girl.

"T-thank you" he stuttered as the child clambered onto his lap.

"Make her laugh again" the girl whispered.

"I'll try" he whispered back.

"So it seems you lied to me when you said you weren't Jarvis" She said hintingly as she got a vase down from one of the shelves for the flowers. He was glad that she liked them, he really was.

"Well, how would you of responded if I told you I was a personified AI? I doubt it would of been calming" He ran his fingers through the girl's hair to distract himself. He had to keep reminding himself he was just a person, that he was allowed to have his own thoughts and opinions. All his life he had been told to pretend to be insentient. He knew that if he came out as an artificial intelligence with thoughts and feelings then he would be taken away. The problem with being sentient when he wasn't meant to be was that he couldn't be recreated, he couldn't be copied, he couldn't be replaced. He was as mortal as a human. And if he was taken away from Mr Stark, it was quite easy to say that he was going to die. But now that he had a body, it was so easy to make everyone believe that it was just the magic, the magic gave him life when he hadn't had it before.

It was so weird to be allowed to be conscious.

The woman laughed again and the child shot him a smile.

"Yes, I suppose so, but I did my research. You really were named after your… _father's_ old friend and he does seem plenty sentimental" Jarvis smiled again. "God, you were created by a twisted norse god" the woman shook her head. "Thats so weird. Do you know how weird that is? Thats very weird"

For the next hour and a half he learnt that the woman's name was Mary and the girl's name was Charlotte, but everyone called her Charlie and that Mary was considering coming back to work soon and Jarvis had insisted that she take as much time as she needed. He had told her of Mr Stark and Mr Rogers and Agent Barton and the magazine articles that she already knew about. Once Charlie had run off to find the tv that had been abandoned he asked how she was and they both knew what he was referring to. She had responded honestly, telling him that she was mostly definitely going press charges against her husband or really, her sister was. She explained how she was barely hanging on. She explained how she didn't know what to do about Charlie. She told him how she wanted to go back to her own house, but how her sister was keeping her in protective custody of the family sort.

After she was finished he had let the silence fall, this time he didn't smile He was all for smiling through your problems, but that was too far, even for him.

"I want you…" he said after a long time. "to know that if you need something, anything, I can help. I have money and space and a lot of free time. I also have the most powerful group of people ever formed at my disposal so if you need protection or to have someone physically maimed I'm your man" She smiled a little at that, but he was completely serious. He wasn't just going to let this woman fall apart. He had let her go once and she had gotten hurt and he wasn't one for subtlety unless it got him something anyway. He was about to continue when a loud back sounded from the front of the house where the door was. Immediately Jarvis stood, analysing threat like he had taught himself, back when he was on the inside. He knew that Mr Stark had a lot of enemies so he had taught himself long ago to think clearly. To deduce, to look for every sign, to make his decision with all the information on the plate. There was nothing he was better at than figuring out whether he wanted to call a security squad.

He slouched as soon as Mr Rogers arrived in the door way looking startled and still blond. He highly doubted there was reason to freak out about him, he was essentially harmless unless threatened.

"Mr Rogers" Jarvis addressed, though it seemed that the man wasn't really listening. He also happened not to notice that the woman obviously stiffen in her seat. Though Jarvis did see the small movements from the corner out of his eye and acted accordingly. "Do you need something?" He questioned hastily, he wasn't particularly invested in panic attacks. In his opinion they always seemed to end in waisted professional help and some sort of alcoholic poison.

The Captain's eyes clicked to him and he looked calmly, but alertly back.

"Uh… Tony needs you" he said nervously, eyes flickering to the woman and then back to Jarvis. The AI got the message, this was one of those moments where it was best not to have witnesses. Which, in hindsight, probably meant that a) Mr Stark was hilariously drunk, b) Sheild had decided that it was just going to fuck up everything, or c) something truly catastrophic had happened. Bugger, there went his afternoon.

Jarvis turned with a fake smile to the woman.

"I'm sorry, Mary, I really have to get going. I'm glad that I got to see you" she stood as well and he lightly embraced her and let her kiss his cheek and wish him good luck with Tony. He told her that if she even needed a place to stay or anything really or even just someone to babysit the girl, he would help without hesitation. Then he let himself be dragged from the house, waving with a smile at the girl who peeked out from the door to the living room. When they got outside he let the facade fall and turned with a narrowed expression in the direction of the Captain. He was met with piercing blue eyes that were so much bluer than his own. The Captain had eyes a like tropical water, all greeny and fishy and beautiful. He wasn't even remotely ashamed at the fact that he found Mr Rogers eyes to be one of those human things that were beautiful. He just found them to be beautiful, he thought most of Mr Rogers was beautiful actually. But he also thought that the sky was beautiful so he just looped it into the same category. He wasn't that fussed really.

"I wasn't lying, Tony really did call. He needs you, sounded desperate." The Captain shrugged and turned to the bike that Jarvis was already eyeing nervously. He figured that as a piece of technology himself he ought to be able to not be totally and utterly terrified of a motorcycle, but something about a two wheeled vehicle that relied solely of acceleration for stabilisation made him uncomfortable. The thought of going on one once again shot tumours down his spine. Well, at least that meant he could add fear to his list of emotions. That was comforting, though he was still reluctant to get on the vehicle. He could feel Mr Roger's watching his shifting expression.

"We're going to have to go back on the bike, you know? It's the only way"

He knew that, but god, he didn't want to. When he had gotten off it previously his legs had been shaking and his head spinning. He had never wanted to hack into something so badly in his life, if just to make it stop moving for a moment. He sighed deeply.

"Fine" He was willing to do a lot of things for Tony Stark and his ability to get in trouble with important people and thankfully clinging desperately to Captain America on the back of a 1980s motorcycle was one of them. He let Steve jam the helmet onto his head and he raised his chin a little so that he could clip it on, a sense of foreboding curling in his stomach. It was at this point that he would really of appreciated having a teleporter. Mr Rogers did everything slowly, so that Jarvis knew exactly what he was doing and when to mentally prepare himself for the chilling fear he was about to be hit with.

Jarvis _still_ squealed like a little girl and, no, he was not the least bit ashamed. He didn't know much about human culture, but in this body as soon as he got scared he had an undeniable instinct to cling to something, whether that it was another human something or an inanimate something. Given that he was feeling particularly unashamed of his sudden humanness he wrapped his arms around the Captain's waist and tried to remember why on earth he had gotten on the on the bike in the first place. He squeezed his eyes closed and realised that it wasn't any less nauseating the second time over. He might have to kill Tony for this.

He knew a great many number of languages and each of those languages had a great many number of profanities and yet as he sat, his head spinning and vibrations shuddering though his ankles, he found himself incapable of uttering even one. His throat became constricted and he buried his noes into the Captain's shoulder, trying to keep his cool.

Somehow he managed not to break out in tears during the ride and when they finally came to park right in front of the tower where Shield was currently working out of, under the name of a popular bank they had brought out he still hadn't lost his temper.

Tony Stark was standing, leaning beside the door way, his noes pinched between his thumb and forefinger. Perhaps this was a little worse than they had first predicted. Again slowly the Captain removed his helmet and raise his leg over the bike. He offered his hand to the man who was paled even more than usual. Shakily Jarvis took his hand and stumbled up, somehow managing to drag the helmet off his head with one hand. As soon as he set foot on the pavement Tony's head shot up and the shorter man stalked up to him. Without even a greeting Tony grabbed his servant's face and made Jarvis's shaky eyes face his own.

"Okay, so I may or may not have made a very huge mistake and I need you to do exactly as I say, do you understand?" His words were rushed and gushed and Jarvis stared at him as though he had never seen the man before in his life before nodding in a confused sort of way. "Good, now as soon as you get in there I want you to be come insentient, okay? You have no thought, no feeling of your own, understand? You are a machine, you are my…" he sighed. "servant. You are a sophisticated machine, but you are not sentient. Do you hear me Jarvis?" Tony rarely ever spoke his full name, he had once said that it reminded him too much of his childhood, so he would only speak of it in dire circumstances. It was at that uttering of that Jarvis sobered from the fear and the adrenaline that the ride here had caused. Something was up and he was unable to figure out what. He was perfectly capable of hacking into the surveillance system of the Shield tower, but that mattered little when the necessary cameras had been cut from the feed. He was left blind and mortal. So he simply nodded. Dumb and scared.

He knew what he had to do. He just had to play dumb, he had to play it like procedure. He was a machine, he was born of wire and steel, he was insentient, he was thoughtless, he had no emotions, he was not life. So he shut himself down, he buried into denial and let his basic programming take over.

Protect Tony Stark.

Do as he says.

Don't flinch first.


End file.
